Communication failures are typically caused by a ‘crossed transaction’ where partners address ego states other than that their partner is in. Consider the above examples jumbled up a bit.

Example 1a:

A:  “Have you been able to write that report?” (Adult to Adult)

B:  “Will you stop hassling me? I’ll do it eventually!” (Child to Parent)

is a crossed transaction likely to produce problems in the workplace. “A” may respond with a Parent to Child transaction. For instance:

A: “If you don’t change your attitude, you’ll get fired.”

Example 2a:

A:  “Is your room tidy yet?” (Parent to Child)

B:  “I’m just going to do it, actually.” (Adult to Adult)

is a more positive crossed transaction. However there is the risk that “A” will feel aggrieved that “B” is acting responsibly and not playing their role, and the conversation will develop into:

A:  “I can never trust you to do things!” (Parent to Child)

B:  “Why don’t you believe anything I say?” (Adult to Adult)

which can continue indefinitely.

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